Swamp Cooler’s..@#$%!

Ok so like it’s 9:22 PM on Sunday night and I’m sitting in my recliner writing this post. The current temperature in my house is 83 degrees. Did I mention it’s not even June yet? We have the “swamp cooler” going, one box fan, and were almost down to wearing nothing. I walked outside only to realize, it’s cooler outside then it is inside. Which got me to thinking… (watch out)

Swamp cooler? Huh? I’ve lived in plenty of states and have come to realize the importance of humidity. Living in the southern states, you don’t really need or want a “swamp cooler” as it’s so swampy and humid that the lightening bugs only fly up about 15″ off the ground. Their poor little wings can’t lift their bodies any higher. So most homes have central heat and air…(ahhhhhhh can you hear the angels singing when you read that?) Try it again…central heat and air…ahhhhhh.

Well I couldn’t handle the humid temperatures of the south, or the claustrophobic rain of the north west, or the ungodly stifling heat of Southern California, so…I landed my happy troops here in Red Bluff. The Valley Of The North.

 What do you get here? Swamp coolers. Anything over 90 degree’s outside and your just blowing warm air at yer self. If your lucky, you’ll sweat enough that if you happen to catch your self opening the fridge or the freezer, you get a blast of cool refreshing air. But don’t let anyone catch you climbing in, as they might think your bit off your rocker.

As for me, I enjoy sitting in the kiddie pool with the kiddies, going to any local box store and wandering around aimlessly until they start suspecting me, forcing me to return home, or just simply bitching about the heat.

So I guess this concludes my thoughts on swamp coolers. By the way, if anyone knows anyone related to, is friends with, or personally knows the person responsible for inventing and pushing the sale of swamp coolers, please splash some sweat their way and tell them, “YOU SUCK!”

A.

Can your really make a "swamp" cooler?
Can your really make a "swamp" cooler?

 (Incase you wanted to understand what and how a swamp cooler works.)

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