I Will Look After You

Rafe Spalding
Rafe Spalding

If I don’t say this now, I will surely break down. My heart had started to separate from the thing’s that mean the most to me, because I was starting to realize how fragile life is. A simple action could possibly take away the people that mean the most to me. The people that I get up every day to see and work for and take care of and love.

Saving those men, sent my world spinning. Running towards total strangers, to save them from the depths of the murky lake water, breathing life into his empty lungs, watching him breath for the first time from the darkness and into the light of day, watching the other struggling to catch his almost lost breath, will be something that I will most certainly never forget as long as I live.

But the one gesture that has me connected to this man, this event, is when his lingering hand grabbed my foot under the water before I realized two men were needing to be saved. He grabbed a hold of the only one who knew to save him. I don’t know what his life was before, but I know this has changed mine, and hopefully his own. I pray it changed in a positive way.

We were all pushed together for a reason, whether you believe in God or not, divine intervention was alive and well August 22nd, 2009 at Black Butte Lake. I was involved, I was there, I felt it coursing through my veins, giving me super human strength to keep going when I knew my day to day life wouldn’t have allowed it.

It is now that I realize, God has given me the most life can ever give someone. A partner in this life to share my life  with. A person who understands the urgency to give, to love, above everything else to keep going, to push through the muck and give it your all. God has given me someone who I will never let go, until I take my last breathe, and even then I will not let go willingly. He is the only one who knows my peace, my love, my passion, my heart, my deepest desires. And for that, I will look after him.

I will sacrifice my life for you, because without you, I would not be who I am today, my children would not have the mother that looks after them, my parents wouldn’t have the daughter that looks after them, my sister wouldn’t have the sister who looks after her, my cousin’s wouldn’t have the cousin who looks after them.

I am here because of you and because of you two men were plucked from death, children are being cherished, family is being cared for, and my heart is healing. You have made me finally feel home again.

Thank you! And I truly love you forever Babe!

Love Always and Forever,

Alena Marie


5 thoughts on “I Will Look After You

    1. As it should. It was written for you, about you, from my heart and it’s still true to this day. Look under the dark cloud instead of through it. 😉

  1. Alena,

    You have a great and unique gift to be able to put your feelings into
    words that can truly move another to have those same feelings. I could
    feel your terror, your tears, and your struggles to come to an
    understanding and meaning of the experience. Thank you for sharing; you helped to put some things into perspective.

    Thank you,
    Program Manager
    Smart Business Resource Center

  2. I don’t know what to say. I am speechless… Thank you. For me, I like to love you each day as if it were my last. I say “I love you” so much because I am making sure those will be my last words no matter what. My theory on love is “fake it til ya make it”, and even when you are not “feeling” like you are loving someone at the moment, LOVE THEM ANYWAY. Show them, touch them, hold them, hug them, if nothing else when you stalk them long enough they might GIVE UP and LOVE YOU BACK. Another saying I live by is “If you are not working on your relationship, you are working on the end of your relationship”. A relationship is hard work, but worth it! “Any job worth doing (relationship) is worth doing well.”

    Live for your partner, live for their wants, live for their needs, and they will return the same. Pay it forward. Give ’til it hurts.

    It took 4 years, but I think I am finally brainwashing you into believing you love me! My plan is working perfectly! 🙂

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