Now I’m Done

I wouldn’t normally post stuff like this, but I thought I’d give my reader’s an idea of what I’m dealing with when I have conversation’s with my family.

I’m trying to hold my family member’s personally response for their words and actions, and not adopted their problems. I’ve tried staying on the fence and not choose a side, because ultimately these are my family member’s. But I left an abusive marriage because of verbal abuse and later physical abuse. I will not tolerate being talked to or treated like I’m at the bottom of the food chain.

Respect is usually given when your born into a family. As you grow-up, sometimes respect is taken away or lost. I will not give respect to someone who hasn’t earned it, can’t keep it, but often demands it.

For a bit of background. (So that the following text messages will make sense). My cousin Kenny has spent the last 2 years in prison. Prior to him entering prison he battled with drugs and depression. Often times my boyfriend and I would see him on the streets of our town. We’d pick him up, give him some money, have lunch with him, and let him know that we are there for him. We even sent him personal items while he was in prison.

Prior to even all that, when he was child living in his mother’s drug infested household, we’d often give her money to buy groceries, gas, cigarettes, etc. to help her out. We didn’t have to do any of those things. We didn’t have to involve ourselves at all. But out of the kindness of our hearts, we donated to the cause for our family.

My daughter had her 6th birthday on Saturday. I rarely send family member’s invitations to my kid’s birthday parties, as they are automatically invited. I usually wait until I see them or they call me and ask, “What are you doing for Aubry’s birthday?” then I tell them the date and time of her party. My Aunt and my cousin didn’t call, not even on her birthday. I sent a text asking if he knew what today was, on her birthday. I wasn’t going to give in, as I was hurt because they forgot. My Aunt has been coming to Aubry’s parties for 5 years now. I know it could have slipped their memory, but a simple phone call would have cleared the air.

On Christmas my Aunt decided not to attend our family gathering because of a lot of “family conflict”. Did my cousin or my aunt call me up and invite me over to her house? NO! I was simply trying to stay out of the drama. But for some reason my cousin thinks it’s completely necessary to call me up and start a agruement that he thought he was going to win and to fight his mom’s battles. He’s 23 years old. Lives at home with his mom, hang’s out with his loser druggie friends, dealing drugs, living a lifestyle that he knows he shouldn’t considering he has  a Probation Officer. My Aunt has pissed off her dad so badly that he told her he didn’t want her in his life anymore, but has since forgiven her in some ways and laid the law down excluding her from coming over to my mom’s house, which is where he lives an. Now she has the option to come over and take my grandpa to her house or out to lunch. But in case you haven’t noticed or I forgot to state, she has no job. She can’t keep a job. So she uses her dad as an ATM machine. Funny thing is, her ATM machine only gives her money, she never deposits any. She hasn’t come over to see him, pick him up, or take him to any doctors appointments. Leaving all of that responsibilities on my cancer stricken mom.

My Aunt and my cousin went to Wal-Mart where my Aunt’s daughter-in-law works, to take back the Christmas gifts that she and my uncle had bought my Aunts grandkids. She decided to do this because her eldest son has decided to not allow her in his families life because her lifestyle is  unpredictable and she can’t keep the druggie friends away long enough for him to not stress about the safety of his kids while in her presence. So my Aunt decided to talk a bunch of crap while at Wal-Mart to the associate helping her return the gifts. My Aunt used her daughter-in-law’s name, to embarrass her at work. For me this was crossing the line, but yet again it was not my battle to fight.

Now that I’ve gotten off topic, back to my “as the drama continues”, instead of my Aunt or my cousin calling and apologizing for missing my daughter’s birthday, my cousin call’s me and starts going off on me. Do I ever get a phone call from him, just asking me how I am or to chit chat? NO! Instead, he starts ranting and raving about how I haven’t come over to collect the Christmas presents that they bought for my kids and how I disowned them because I don’t call to see how Jeanie is doing and how she’s been so depressed that she’s been in bed. Did I mention that he was yelling at the top of his lungs that my boyfriend who was standing down the hall could hear him?

(Below are the following text message between him and I after I hung up on him)

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17 12:25PM
Msg: I didnt come over bcus no one called me & told me to come over. Robert told me to come over but it’s not his place. I only invited Aubry’s friends with invitations. Family calls asks me, “whatcha doin for aubry’s birthday” but neither you or your mom called.

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17 12:25PM
Msg:  (2/2) Don’t you EVER yell @ me like that on the phone. Or I will call your po & let him know what you’ve been up. Don’t FUCK with me Kenny. You need to stop fighting your mom’s battles. Start paying attention 2 other

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17 12:41PM
Msg: Rafe wants me 2 tell u, “remember where u came from & who has been there for you. Don’t burn this bridge with me.”
From: Kenny Clark  To: Alena
Sent: Jan 17  1:49PM
Msg: Who r u. & what bridg do we have to burn. I think its time for u to grow up. Thes days the bridges r made with cement they dont burn. &ur one to talk smart ass. <2ndofKen;)>

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17  1:51PM
Msg: Kenny, it was rafe telling u 2 stop being rude & immature. Rafe was there on many occasions 4 u & by disrespecting me U r pissing rafe off causing him 2 burn the bridge between u & him

From: Kenny Clark  To: Alena
Sent: Jan 17  2:05PM
Msg: U need to stop talking out the side of ur neck. This is bettwen u & i. So leav it that way. He ante the only 1 getting upset.  <2ndofKen;)>

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17  2:08PM
Msg: How the fuck do u talk out of the side of your neck. U want 2 bring n ur mom’s problems & fight them 4 her fine by me. I’m upset cuz u 4got Aubry’s bday.

To: Kenny Clark  From: Alena
Sent: Jan 17  2:08PM
Msg:  Rafe is pissed bcuz ur talking 2 me like shit. Do NOT text me anymore unless u can b respectful. I’m done.

My Aunt waits until I’m on the phone with my cousin Angel to try and get in the last word, while going off on Angel about the above conversation. Knowing Angel was on the phone with me. She yell’s out, “I’m Done. I’m fucking done.”

I will no longer be standing on the fence, I’ve made my decision. I will not allow people like this to call me up and yell at me for something that was not my choice. I didn’t make them come to the party. I didn’t force them to forget. I didn’t ask them to bring up the Christmas stuff. I didn’t dial the phone for them when they called yelling. All I asked of them, was to remember my daughter’s birthday. To call my daughter and say, “Happy Birthday Aubry”. If they would step outside of their pitty party and see that I hadn’t choosen sides and that I tried to be neutral. I can not and will not help them anymore. I’m so tried of the drama that surrounds them and engulfs whoever is around them. They can have their lifestyle, their friends, their problems. I don’t need them in my life. I want them, but I certainly don’t need them.


3 thoughts on “Now I’m Done

  1. I agree and if that little f— thinks he can talk to my sisters Alena or Angel that way he has another thing comming. I have a southern MAN who will not allow some punk to talk to girls that way.

    He can go back to where he came from.
    Love you Alena

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