Today I got a call from my daughter’s school nurse who informed me that Aubry had an accident. Instantly my heart skipped a beat. For some unknown reason I have always had this internal voice telling me that she’s only going to be with me for a rather short period of time. Less time then she’s supposed to be with me. I don’t know what all this means but I try to share everything with her. Teaching her as much as I can. I never felt these kinds of feeling’s with my son. Maybe one day they will all make sense.
On with the story, so I get approved at work to leave and go take care of her I was worried that she was sitting in the nurses office embarrassed by her #2 accident. How could I have missed it? How could I have sent a sick child off to school?
Being in a rush, I stopped by “The Wal-Mart” and got her some panty’s, and saw the cutest little yoga pants and a matching shirt. I passed by the socks on my way to the cashier and just had to get the cutest fuzzy socks ever and they totally matched her outfit.
So as I’m driving to her school, I remembered this one time my mom came and picked me up from school. I was so tired and so sick, all I wanted was to be with my mom cause she made everything all better. The moment I seen her face, I knew happiness and safety had arrived. I kept wondering if Aubry felt the same way about me. This was my chance to repay back that moment I experienced. I couldn’t drive fast enough.
Standing in the door-way to the nurses office, I scanned the short brown cots with little sickly kids on them, searching for my blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty. There she was, in the corner of one bed starring down at her feet. I didn’t say anything as my heart was pained seeing her shamed in her own mind. Without a word she looked up as if I had called her name. The light beaming from her eyes when she seen me was remarkable. She ran right over to me, I swooped her up and reassured her as I whispered in her ear that, “everything will be ok. Let’s go home”.
Once we made our way to the van, I handed her the bag of brand new clothes. She smiled and her, “Oh thank you momma” was all I needed.
Aubry and I didn’t get off to a good start when she was younger. My pregnancy with her was surrounded by stress, pain, anguish and divorce. From the moment she was born there hasn’t been a single day that she hasn’t cried. It’s a goal that I have set but have not reached yet in trying to help her cope. She’s a sensitive loving child and mostly stubborn.
I fought to keep her, fought to save her and I’ll be damned if anything is going to happen to her. In the many moments that I do have with my beautiful Aubry Marie, I can see her halo.