Don’t Listen To The Sound, Just Turn The Radio Up

 

I thought I’d write about another “Classic Alena” moment. These moments tend to happen when I least expect them. The worse part about these moments are they always end up happening in public, in front of friends or family and seem to always make it into conversations when I’m around. Now I can definitely be the butt of my own jokes or even some else’s jokes, but these adventures that I get myself into leave their marks on all parties involved. If there is one thing that everyone can say about them is, “Yep. Classic Alena.”

For some of you who don’t know, I drive a grey 2001 Dodge GRAND  Caravan. Hence the “grand” part. That means “Larger then normal”. So my adventure begins.

I drove home with my daughter in the backseat peacefully sleeping. Not wanting to park my mini van in our steep inclined drive-way, instead I parked the two front wheels into the gutter just in front. I never needed to put the parking brake on when the wheels were parked in the gutter because the gutters were so deep there was no way for them to roll out. I needed to run into the house for just a moment to retrieve my purse. (We won’t go into how I forgot my purse) So I left the van running and rolled down the windows.

I retrieved my purse and made my way back into the driver’s seat, put the van in reverse and was about to back up when I heard a strange noise coming from my engine. I seem to have an ear for these types of mechanical issues. I leaned my ear out the window a bit. Pressing the brake didn’t cause the noise. Hmmmm, I thought to myself. I know I heard it. It was a bit of a knocking noise.

Opening the driver’s side door and taking one step out to get a bit closer to the sound. I turned the stirring wheel a little to see if that caused the noise. Nope, no noise. Frustrated as I was, I was determined to hear the noise again.

(I will pause here and recap so that you can visualize what it looks like at this moment)

My van’s front wheels are resting in the deep gutter. I’ve put my van in reverse. I have one hand on the stirring wheel. One leg standing outside the opened driver’s side door. My daughter sleeping in the back seat.

On with the story, maybe if I give it a little bit of gas. It will rev the engine enough and then, maybe then I’ll be able to hear that God for saken noise. So I move my right foot and give it a good hard rev.

(Let’s recap one last time) I am standing on my left leg OUTSIDE of my van and my right leg is INSIDE the van giving it a Good Hard Rev. Wait for it…Wait for it…

 

Yes, you read correctly and by now I’m sure you can guess what happened. The moment the van accelerated it learched backwards, hitting my body with my driver’s side door, causing me to be thrown down to the ground. I went under the driver’s side door. Which scrapped up my stomach, chest, neck and chin. Thankfully the blow to the back of my head from the pavement didn’t knock me out and none of my legs were ran over. I was stunned though, but only for a brief moment as I then realized my van is rolling back, away from me with my daughter still inside.

I got up and chased after my van, with the driver’s side door still open. I jumped inside, pressed on the brake, threw it in park. Then relaxed for a moment. I remembered thinking, “Holy crap! Did that just really happen? Did I just run myself over with my van? FROM THE OUTSIDE?”

I turned the van off, unbuckled my daughter and went inside. Leaving my van parked in the middle of the cul-de-sac. Making my way back into my house and sat on the couch next to my boyfriend.

“That was quick Alena. Do you need help with the groceries…Alena?…Alena! Are you ok? What’s wrong?” he said in a startled tone.

My answer, “HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO CAN RUN THEMSELVES OVER WITH THEIR OWN MINI VAN AND LIVE TO TELL ABOUT IT?”

His eyes about popped out of his head. After he checked me over and asked me a million questions as to the why’s and how’s and the are-you-ok questions, I couldn’t get him to stop laughing. He had tear’s rolling down his cheeks from the laughter.

I have to admit, now that it’s all over. It is pretty funny. It could have been so much worse, but I’m lucky to say the least and that God did have his eye on me that day. I now leave all thing’s mechanical to my boyfriend, my grandpa, my dad, my mom’s husband, or any male person I know

I never did hear or find that knocking noise again.

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7 thoughts on “Don’t Listen To The Sound, Just Turn The Radio Up

    1. “rere” hmmm, wonder what that means. I may be a dork but maybe by me posting this story, someone out in webland won’t make the same mistake I did…do…will do…whatever.

  1. Holy crap that is too funny, I can’t even type right now because I am still cleaning the tears off my face from laughing so hard. Classic Alena for sure. You need to get a Power scooter to stay safe! Glad your okay.

  2. OMG mom! You are such a big dork. It was actually, a what-you-would call, a clasic Alena moment because why did you even put one foot out one foot in trick you could’ve gotten KILLED but to Rafe he probably said ‘E is for entertaning’ but your lucky your guardian angel struck again. love your son Kenny

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