Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice…Really?

What spice is this?

I am thoroughly grossed out to the max by my daughter’s. Please don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly but I think they are putting on a front. Aubry continues to raise the bar to the brink with so many “OMG” moments. Madison is a close runner up with Aubry.

Purple Sugar?

Their room looks as though some mad fairy came through spreading her pink paint, fluffy princess dresses and sparkly glitter in her wake. My daughters affection (or obsession) for shoes and make-up is no indication that she is concealing snails in little jewelry boxes under her bedroom pillows and hiding flat frogs in her purses.

Are they plotting to be nice?

Madison can clear a room in 60 seconds all the while making you gag as you bolt for the nearest exit. She’s perfectly content with muddy hands and grassy hair stepping out of the bath tub. She can wrestle with Jaden (her cousin) the toughest kid I know and I guarantee you he will tap out first.

I doubt she's holding a butterfly.

I’ve watched these girls play in mud as though they were trained by professional mud slingers. I’ve watched Aubry pluck snails from her bare arm. I’ve watched them pass out cold on the couch filthy from head to toe and not even blink an eye.

Princess shoes, remote control car, pink bikini & a NASCAR hat.

This information is something no one ever told me about. After the numerous hours I’ve listened to the advice from willing family members to general strangers in public and not one person mentioned I’d be cleaning up the messes these girls have seemed to get themselves into. Not a single person ever shared any stories about how their daughter climbed tree’s as if she were a primate.

Married With Children comes to mind.

I will say, that I’ve seen tomboys before as I’ve watched my sister play along side the boys and fit right in. I was never one of “those” girls. We shared a room and due to the lack of funding my parents had we also shared a bed. My requirements were a must for my sister. #1.Clean Feet Before Climbing Into Bed. #2.Keep Your Side Of  The Room Clean.  #3.Keep Your Rodents Totally On Your Side. (I never had dirty hands and I’m pretty sure that’s why my skin is so dry these days).

See what I mean...convincing huh?

I’m thinking it’s really a secrete society, having girls as daughters. With the Disney Princesses, the ribbons and bows and the fluffy dresses, I’m pretty sure the “other” parents signed some kind of contract stating you must dress your daughters up in public to ensure enlistment from non-daughter parents to try and conceive daughters of their own. This is to guarantee our future generations, because if these parents knew the torment of messes and weird thing’s in the purses of these sweet innocent looking beauties, they’d think twice. So the next time you see those beauty pageant girls, just know that she’s hiding tube socks under that dress or frogs in her purse.

I think those are weapons.

Side Note: This isn’t a hater blog post, for gosh sake I’m a girl myself. It’s just to give the “other” parents are fair chance.

Want a piece of chocolate mom?
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3 thoughts on “Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice…Really?

  1. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL I’m sorry baby but I can’t help it. That is the funnyies one you have writen, I love it and it should published where all girlie THINGS I’ve been there and done that. I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE MY GRANDDAUGHTERS.

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