Dear Grandma,

My muse: Twilight Piano Series/New Moon: Earth





                                                                                                                 January 9th, 2012

     Dear Grandma,

   It’s been so long since we’ve talked. I think, well ok, I know when the last time it was we talked because I will remember it for the rest of my life. The way you laughed when my mom fell out of her hospital chair while you two waited for the results from the doctor was priceless. The softness in your giggle is a distant echo in my head every time I think of you. You were insisting my mom was trying to “kick her own ass”. Good Times!

   Well a lots happened since then. We all came together for your memorial service in your backyard. I didn’t know your favorite color was lavender. Remember planting your tomato plants along the brick wall back there and how Mike would pull me around the walk-way in the wagon. He’d get so tired and I keep talking him in to “just going a bit more,” how I miss those days. Mom stayed behind to take care of all the legal paper work that you left behind. No worries though, she’s got it all sorted out now, you’d be so proud of her.

   Grandpa had a stroke a few weeks later. We all agreed, including him, that he needed to be up here with us because we could look after him better if a 10 hour drive wasn’t separating us. It was touch and go there for a few weeks with his emergency open heart surgery that had a few complications, but he’s doing so good now. He’s lost a bunch of weight, by going on walks with Scarlett and Max. Oh yeah, Grandpa got Buster a girlfriend and she got pregnant with Max. Shortly after Max arrived Buster passed away, with Grandpa by his side. We keep Grandpa busy. He’s watched a few football games of Kenny and Jaden’s. He bought a Harley, and an old school Volvo. He said it was exactly like the one you and him use to drive when you two first met. He misses you though.

   Aunt Jeanie and Uncle Robert are living in your house now. They’re taking care of it for Grandpa. In fact Uncle Robert just installed a brand new, (expensive) wrought iron fence around the drive-way and front yard. Now those damn high school kids can’t sit on the steps any more. Remember how you use to get so mad at them everyday because they’d sit and eat lunch and leave their trash.

   Mom’s hair is finally looking luscious again and she has her soft curls back now that she’s Cancer free. It’s almost her 2nd year anniversary of completing Chemo. Mike and I noticed how her hair is the same color as your’s. We both noticed this small detail the other day during Christmas. Mom has handled everything so well, but I know deep down she wishes she could still call you up on the phone and vent out her frustrations. She misses you so much too.

   Speaking of Mike, he bought a Harley. Grandpa, Wayne and Mike go on bike runs now. You should see them Grandma, it warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Everything is right in the world when they ride together.

   Oh, Mike and Wendy bought a house in Red Bluff. It’s the cutest little house with a fire-place and big garage. Plus, he’s just down the street from me and my family. It’s so wonderful. Mike said, “he wanted to be closer to his job and me.” Can you believe it? He actually said that. I love him so much! You’d get a kick out of his son, Mikey. He’s all boy Grandma, just like Mike was when he was little. He’s on a mission with everything he does. He was out riding his big-wheel wearing an Ironman Halloween costume the other day; just pedaling away, it was just adorable. Rilee is becoming a beautiful young lady, she’s so smart. Mike’s gonna have a real heart breaker on his hands.

   Angelica graduated high school. She’s a college graduate now too. A certified Medical Assistant. She’s so smart and absolutely stunning. She lives in her apartment with her boyfriend Ryan. He’s a cupcake, you’d love him. Everyone says that Angel looks so much like you when you were young. Drop dead gorgeous I think, but then again I’m biased.

   Kenny’s back in jail, apparently he had some more lessons to learn. his drug habits I guess he comes by them honestly. Let’s just pray this is his last stint in jail. Lord know’s Jeanie can’t handle him being in there.

   BethAnn finally tied the knot with her long time boyfriend, Aaron. They recently moved into a bigger house. She’s now the manager at the hair salon she work’s for, Sports Clips in Tennessee. They desperately want to start a family. She miscarried about a year ago and as unfortunate as it was for her to lose a baby, she wants one; more than anything now. She’d make an excellent mommy.

   As for me, I’ve graduated college with a certificate of special interest in Creative Writing. I’ve had a blog for almost 3 years that get’s a minimum of 78 blog hits a day. I know that all sounds like gibberish but what it means is, 78 people stop by my website to read what I have to say. No, I don’t get paid for it but you were right all along. As it turns out, I’m quite funny and having a sense of witty humor makes my writing interesting enough to visit a website everyday to read something new. I never thought about writing until you mentioned that I should write a book. I belive your exact words were, “I’d actually read a book if you wrote down all the stories you’ve told me.” So look at what you’ve created, a monster word junkie. I’ll be sure to dedicate my first book to you.

   Rafe and I are still together, growing stronger everyday. It’s amazing at how much love carries a relationship when both sides are pulling and pushing equally. After my endometrial ablation surgery and rolling my minivan in June, I’ve really had a revelation of sorts; I can’t live without Rafe. He’s become apart of me now. Funny how near death experiences do that to a person. I still work at Meek’s, it’s a job but my co-workers make it fun and stressful too.

   The kids are definitely keeping us busy. Kenny’s 12 now and in his first year of middle school and wearing braces; he looks adorable. He’s already as tall as me; but then again he didn’t have a long way to go with that. Everyone say’s he’s a spitting image of me. Finally! I have a kid that looks like me. He’s being weaned off his epilepsy medicine. I think he’s going to be ok, Grandma. I know what you’re saying, “don’t do it. It’s going to make the epilepsy worse,” but I really trust his doctor. he’s grown up so fast, just the other he was turning 2 and now he’s got girls falling head over heels for him.

   Aubry’s getting ready to turn 8. Can you believe it? Eight! She’s still blondie-blonde like you said. Big blue eyes and an even bigger attitude to boot. She’s so stubborn and mouthy. She tells everyone anything she’s thinking. Wonder where she gets that from? Hmmmm. Not mentioning any names…Grandma! Thank God she’s got an older brother and Jaden to keep the loser’s at bay.

   Madison’s doing awesome too! She’s 8-1/2 and is quickly becoming Kenny’s Xbox partner. She’s so quick-witted with such a pure heart. Her long brown silky hair and piercing blue eyes, just like Rafe’s, so captivating, but she’s a daddy’s girl through and through.

   Well that’s all of us. We’re all holding on to each other as best we can without you here. We find something every day that helps us keep our memory of you fresh in our minds. For me, it’s the frogs I allow to live in my flower garden out front, my single cup of coffee in the morning made the same way you took your’s and watering my front lawn at night with a garden hose.

   I miss you so much sometimes it hurts. I get consumed by thoughts of you that I often have to push them aside, otherwise it makes me depressed. I feel guilty for not calling or visiting more often when you were still here. Sometimes the breeze will float by with the scent of your perfume and I’m transported back in time to your bedroom. The one place that holds my fondest memory of you for me. The one place that I knew I was safe, from everything; even my mom and dad. The one place that you and I shared circus peanut candies.

   The other day I was smoothing lotion into my hands and I realized I had bought the same kind you used; Jergen’s Almond & Cherry. I almost cried until the thought of what you’d say if you seen me, “people are really going to think your nuts,” then I busted up laughing. People really would think I’m nuts; if they don’t already.

   We all never realized how much you held our family together; what a difficult job that was. You made it feel so effortless, I’m sorry we didn’t appreciate it while we could still give you hugs and kisses for all that you did.

      I’m sorry I wasn’t there to watch you pass but I wanted to remember you the way I seen you last. Sneaking wine from the kitchen in a coffee mug during Christmas and how you smiled at me when you noticed that I busted you. The best part was how you shared that mug of wine with me. I could go on and talk to you for hours like so many of our phone calls did, but I must go for now. I love you for Alway’s Grandma.

Until we hug again,


Alena Clark

4 thoughts on “Dear Grandma,

  1. I think you are a great writer and I love you so much,,, I read this agin this am and I laughted and cried. It nice to remeber and to think of the things that made her ours and she will always be. I miss her alot but it help to read your writtings and see the moments agin in your eyes to mine thank you.

    1. Thank you! I love writing and my goal is always to walk with my reader through the stories I write. I find the best stories that my heart likes to write are the one’s that come from my personal experience. I’m able to refine my emotions to a level that my readers can identify with. It warms my heart when my words invoke emotions in my readers because that means they read them and got obsorbed by their brains.

      As for grandma, her favorite thing to do when she talked with me was to listen to my stories and encourage me to write them down. I’m glad she knew what she was talking about because through my words I might help people in dealing with hard emotions.

  2. Omg, that is so wonderful, sad, exciting, calming, frustrating, emotional, closure, continuation, a beginning….. It makes me want to write a letter to my grandma, and a letter to my best friend, and to all the many other people I have lost. I would bet money God will deliver this letter to her himself.

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