Why hello my night-time flash light slash computer monitor. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, yet I can’t turn my mind off long enough for me to fall asleep. Hormonal? Maybe. Emotional? Sometimes but not lately. I’m just not sure. All I know is, I wake up in the morning, (quit singing the Ke$ha song cause I don’t feel like P-Diddy) with back pain and that wretched feeling of disdain because yet another work day is plotted out in front of me. I come up with a bazillion reason’s why calling-off would be beneficial to everyone I work with, up until I realize that I’m out of Vacation and Sick pay and wouldn’t be getting paid if I call-off, so I must forge ahead and get my lazy tired ass out bed and into something that looks mostly like a work uniform. I should be joyful that I still have a job with the economy going to shit and it being 20-12 and in all aspects, it’s just a job that pays part of my bills.
I’ve recently realized that I’m getting older, TV show’s are getting skankier, my children will out grow me in a few more months, my kitten won’t be a kitten for very much longer and I want to enjoy her completely even though she drives me crazy at night with her off the wall acrobatics and undercover foot attacks.
This post sounds a bit depressing but I assure you, it’s not. I’m not. I’m dysfunctionally tired and I don’t know why. I’ve had blood test, urine test, CAT scans, mammograms, pelvic exams, and dental exams; you name it, I’ve had it scanned, poked, prodded, lit-up and put on a slide and all the test come back, “Fine” (is that a legit medical term?).
I don’t smoke, drink, chew (except chocolate), do drugs, gamble, or any other illicit thing you could do and yet, I can’t find a reason or a cure. So I blog and share my struggles with you.
So in closing, I shall say good night or good morning depending on what time it is that you are reading this. May the bright light shine on you, except if you are trying to sleep which in that case I’ll just say…..”Shhhhhhhh people sleeping.”