Becoming The Cat Lady

   I want to introduce you to my cats. I’m sure you’ve seen them on here before, but I’d like to formally introduce you to them one by one.

 This is Sasha our resident “special” cat. She fell into our family on 11/17/2006 and I mean quite literally, fell into our family. She was up a phone pole one evening and our two dogs, White Socks and Jessica were alerting us to the cat up the pole. Needless to say, this poor kitten wasn’t coming down on her own free will. Her choices were, climb higher and risk the electrical currents coursing through her body, or try to jump to her freedom, which would mean she could possibly land on either side of the fence. On one side, it was solid pavement, on the other, nice soft plush grass and two hugely fluffy dogs. What Sasha didn’t know at the time, was I was on my way to rescuing her despite my pleas to the local Fire Department who informed me that, “They don’t actually rescue cats.” They suggested I “squirt her down with a hose”. To make a long story even longer, I squirted her down and gravity made the choice for her in her landing area, which turned out to the be the pavement. Rafe teases that I made her a cross-eyed Siamese.

   Through the years, we’ve learned to love Sasha for her “special” ways. She isn’t light-footed, she know’s no personal space, she doesn’t eat human food by choice, and she has a fetish for fleece socks that she totes around at night as though they were her long-lost babies. She’s not entirely sure of anything anymore as she can’t really see that well and, she’s sorta lame. She loves moist cat food and loves sleeping with my daughter Aubry. Sasha doesn’t like to be held by anyone but Aubry. Every night Sasha tucks every one into bed even if it’s not bed time. Sasha has a way of making you love her. She ever so slowly crawls on to you and forms her body around you and before you know it, you’re in a Sasha hug.

Sasha hug #1

Sasha hug #2 Sasha

Sasha hug #3
On 4/17/2009 Mr.Kat walked into our lives and chose us to be his new
family. Rafe and I were sitting on the porch swing enjoying the neighborhood and up jumped Mr.Kat right into our laps. He nuzzled our faces with his own, snuggled in between us and fell asleep. What he didn’t realize was, we captured ourselves our very own Crabbit. He looks like a cat, but he feeeeeeels like a rabbit. His fur is so soft you’ll find yourself petting him and not even realize that he’s now completely annoyed with your human scent being all over him.
He use to be very affectionate until he realized that we cut his balls off. Ever since, he seems to be trying to find a way to escape (can’t blame him). His facial features speak so loudly to our family. Most day’s he could care less about whatever it is that Sasha is doing. But some how finds his way into whatever room she’s in, to observe her inaction. I know he’s having an inner monologue discussion about “how stupid Sasha is” or “why can’t these humans understand me”. My daughter often think’s that Mr. Kat is a human trapped in a cat’s body. Mr. Personality
Mr. Kat loves chips, ice cream, cereal, whip cream, and cake. He doesn’t like it when the human put such food item into containers that he can’t get his paws into such as a cake in a plastic container. If the human’s leave such a food item out on the counter he will swiftly push it off with his paw (take thatyou stupid humans). He drinks water with his paws and must supervise you while taking a bath. He is our resident Life Guard. He’s not afraid of water but he must taste the temperature of your bath water while you are marinating in it. He has a way of making your feel utterly stupid for living just by his stare. But don’t let that fool you, he is a very loving cat and an even better foot warmer at the end of our bed every night.

Last but not least, we have Sabrina, our newest and youngest kitten. We received Sabrina on 12/28/2011 from my cousin Mike and his family. When Mike’s kids come over to our house, they will take joy in seeing her as they picked her out. We adopted her as our surrogate kitten because, unfortunately Mike didn’t know he was allergic to cats until one night with Sabrina. Though we can’t medically say that it was the “cat” per say, as it might have been her “gassy” nature that he became allergic too. This kitten has a way of warming your heart and peeling your paint at the same time with her farts. She purrs the moment you touch her as though you’ve just sent her into a catatonic orgasm. (FYI: I’ve gone through all of my cat photo’s to include various picture of this here cat named Sabrina but for some reason she can’t stay still long enough to take a picture that won’t result in it being fuzzy or blurred)

"Your not camoflage, I can still see you Sabrina"
Every single thing in this house is NOT off-limits to her and if it was, it’s just another obstacle in her life that she will master in a mere hours. She has absolutely no balance and isn’t afraid to fall. She loves stalking Sasha and catching the slow and elderly cats of the house and gnawing on their heads. She has no fear of what lyes beneath the covers and isn’t afraid to pounce on it with her entire body.

She's planning her next me
She thinks’ she has stealth capabilities in her silky black fur, but this ninja cat is a total spaz. She has brought so much fun and youthfulness back to our house hold. I know deep down inside Sasha and Mr. Kat absolutely love having her otherwise they wouldn’t try to bathe the poor thing every time she’s near. Mr.Kat try to play like he doesn’t know what got her riled up but we all know it was him who attacked her first. Sasha loves playing hide-and-go seek with Sabrina (although we are pretty sure Sasha thinks she’s playing with her own shadow as often times Sasha has zero sense of awareness).

The Cat Condo
Just a couple of weeks ago, we bought them their very own cat condo. Sabrina has spazed out on this thing since it was laid out in pieces on the floor before I could put it together. Mr.Kat has claimed the throne at the top a few times, but the moment he steps a paw on the blue carpet, he can hear Sabrina’s inner thoughts apparently shouting at him, “GAME ON SUCKA!” and immediately finds the nearest hiding place. We’ve put Sasha on it a few times and the sheer panic (or reminder of being on the phone pole) resonates in her eyes, she finds the nearest exit and goes to her happy place; the recliner to calm down.
So there you have it folks, the day and the lives of my cats. I’ve only introduced you to them as way for you to identify them in the event we have a cat-apocolypse. You might need this information to save yourselves.
Love, Mr.Kat, Sasha & Sabrina
Love, Mr.Kat, Sasha & Sabrina

5 thoughts on “Becoming The Cat Lady

    1. Your welcome. She’s brought some much energy with her that it’s turned out to be really good for the other two cats. They aren’t just carpet speed bumps anymore =P

  1. I didn’t think you had room in your house for a cat condo…wow oh wow. 3 cats, not exactly the cat lady. My friend has 3 doggies and she thought I would think she was a freak so for 7 months she didn’t tell me she’d gotten a 4th…LOL I told her GGees I don’t care if you have 50, as long as you take care of them and love them and you are happy. So if you want to be the cat lady, I could add to your family, I have a wierd one to ship to you…LOL

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