Just Because I’m A Girl…

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My Emotional Song for this post.

Without getting into all the dramatics of this past week, I want to share my thoughts with you. Needless to say I’ve learned quite a bit about myself, my job, and my fellow co-workers. I got a real dose of reality as well.

I work in a male predominate work environment. Most of our customers are men doing men’s work and in this field of work it tends to have old fashion values. But for whatever reason, my dear boss, went out on a limb for my single mom self and gave me a job based on a “hunch” and respect for a woman trying to better herself; and knowing nothing about the field I would be working for.

Flash forward to 7 year’s later. I’m well known in the company, I’ve earned my place, I love(ed) my co-workers and I’ve learned that I actually know some shit about stuff. But what I also realized is, I’m female. I have children that I must set a good example for. I also have a loving and supportive husband. I have many co-workers who “got my back”. I also have a boss, who I see as a father figure to me and is loyal to me.

So I sit here at 3:04 A.M., with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. I have many who have defended my honor and stuck their necks out for me. I hold the power of decision right now and I don’t know what to do with it.

Morally, when someone apologizes and it’s sincere you accept it, forgive them and move forward. But how many times do you accept it. How many times do you forgive them. How many times do you move forward only to realize your forward motion is in a circle? You always accept their apology. We can reference the Bible which say’s you forgive them a thousand times plus infinity (I’m paraphrasing here). But I was in an emotionally abusive marriage. I know this cycle very well.

I’ve worked very hard to get where I’m at. I’m not asking for much; just respect. But in light of some new News on the work front, I believe my hand just got a little trickier. Just because I’m a girl/woman doesn’t mean you can discriminate against me. Just because I’m juggling my family and a job/career doesn’t mean that you can hate on me to my friends/co-workers. I’m sorry if my life affects your ability to leave work early. I’m sorry if a woman’s college classes makes it more time consuming for you to write up and work out a work schedule for your employees.

Just because your a boy/man doesn’t mean your brain worker’s harder, faster, stronger than mine. Just because you have a penis, doesn’t give you the right to try and put me in my “place”. I’m sorry that I intimidate you and you feel inferior to me because I use logical math or deductive reasoning at the same time or that you feel I’m taking the easy road.

So I’m going to ask my readers, for advice. If you were given the option to “sit on it for the weekend and think about it, then we’ll talk about it on Monday,” would you go forward with your complaint about confrontational and aggressive bosses harassing you and a manager making sexist and discriminating remarks about you to your fellow co-workers?

I know it seems like a stupid question, but I’m a nice person. I don’t want to cause any harm and I certainly hate confrontation. I just want to be given the same respect as everyone else.

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3 thoughts on “Just Because I’m A Girl…

  1. i really like Orion4Moms response. They have it right on. what you do now could help others in your work having the same problem. Report him and let him know that you will not tolerate such disrespect just because of your gender. This isnt an old fashioned world any more, as much as your work environment seems to think so. Hell, your in california. Not some podunk state in the midwest. HR should be all over this guy! And if you get the report in, there my be others that were offended by him but were to afraid to say anything that will follow suit.

  2. Hold your head up high babe. Do not let others opinions define your worth. To all that truly know you, we see your value and contributions. Women are no more “drama queens” than men are “assholes”. On this blue planet, we are different yet rely on each other. We are a team on a global scale. Do not place such value on a man just because he has a penis. Do not allow any man to LIE to you by saying “only women cry, only women have issues, only women are weak, only women are drama queens”. Men cry, men are weak, men hurt, men bitch just as much, men are drama queens too. When a man points a finger (and this is the same in reverse when a woman points a finger) at a man, there are three pointing back at his (her) self. Stand up, be proud of your accomplishments, do not group all men into an “asshole” group because a few of us ruin it for the others. Unfortunately, this is life as it has been dealt. Define your worth by the people who “got your back”. The “assholes” have their own demons to face, this is not your problem.

    1. To answer your question, We are in the year 2013. Companies and corporation have “Human Resources” and “HR” departments for this exact reason. They are not there to punish and humiliate but to bring the “assholes” back to reality and overall provide a safe/rewarding work environment to all. It is not your responsibility or job to FIX them, it is “HR’s responsibility” to mediate. Your responsibility to the team is to make them aware of the problem in a civilized and respectful manner. If you have searched your soul and realized that this is not “revenge or anger” speaking but “what is truly right”, than by all means report the behavior and let it go… You will never be able to “fix” anyone other than your self, but you deserve to go to work in a safe/rewarding environment. No law states you have to “love your job” or they have to make it “fun”… It is a “job” so you don’t have to love it (however, you are lucky enough to have a job that you love, so much so that you actually make less than it costs to work there meaning you are paying to work for them) so you deserve to demand respect and continue to enjoy your job. Don’t allow the “few” to destroy the “many” relationships you have come to enjoy. Another thing to consider, your actions may help MANY others in the future. In my experience, if you are being disrespected there are many others that you are not aware of crying at 3:04 am also….

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